The Greatest Joy
by Anti-Censorship Bitch
Summary: (one-shot) Love is the greatest joy a soul can possess and its own reward.


Title: The Greatest Joy 08/10/04

Author: Lydia NightShade

Rating: R or maybe a strong PG-13?

Pairing: Aragorn/Legolas; Aragorn/Arwen (implied)

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Warnings: Slash! Movie-verse, angst of the emotional kind and sappy ass romance man. Sorry! Just happened.

Summary: Love is the greatest joy a soul can possess and its own reward.

Author's Notes: okay this is movie verse because I haven't finished the books yet. Also this is the first published thing I've written in lotr so please be gentle with me. It's written as a happy birthday for my buddy Sara... oi... I tried man! pulls out mega phone Happy Birthdaaaaaaaay!!! takes a breath Phew!

Author's Notes 2: Legolas' POV. means scene change or passage of time.

"And you have my bow."

My famous last words as I refer to them now. Foolish things uttered by a foolish young Elvin princling as Gimli has come to call me. I still do not know what I was thinking when I said them. I had no business going on a quest to save Middle Earth. I came to Rivendell to tell Lord Elrond that the foul creature Gollum had escaped and nothing more.

My adar would never have approved of such a brash action, especially not after finding out there would be a dwarf accompanying us. But sometimes it is nice to be proven wrong as Gimli became one of my most treasured friends. I never would have found him had I not uttered those foolish words and I certainly never would have grown so close to him.

Hmm, perhaps they are not as foolish as I believed. They did give me my greatest joy, the best gift I have ever received, and the most satisfying reward of my long lifetime... my beloved.

Aragorn, son of Arathorn, a beautiful name for a beautiful man. I find it so remarkable now how I fell for him. I had never really fancied males before, then again... I had never really fancied anyone. I spent most of my time perfecting my archery skills, determined to be the best in Mirkwood. After all, what greater reward is there than to defend one's homeland?

I found one... love.

Yes, as trite as it sounds it is the better reward. You cannot choose it like you can valor and courage, it chooses you. A warrior can choose what he wants to defend, but a lover is a slave to his muse, his object of desire and you cannot pick whom it will be. Mine just happened to be the king of men. It could have been worse. I could have fallen for the Balrog.

It started so innocently. One night I returned from my scout around the camp while it was my watch to find him awake and sitting by the fire, running his fingers over the Even Star pendent. I felt nothing more than concern for my comrade when I sat next to him. He seemed so sad it touched my heart and I wanted to do nothing more than make the pain go away.

"What troubles you, Aragorn?" I asked softly. He smiled in a maudlin fashion, tucking the pendent back into his cloak. "Aragorn?" I pursued, I did not want some inner turmoil destroying his concentration in battle and thus causing him an injury, that is all I wanted.

"Tis only a small matter of heartache, Legolas, no need to trouble yourself." He replied in his usual understated manner. I smiled at him and patted his back, wanting to comfort him.

"No trouble at all, mellon nin. Come now, tell old Legolas all about it." He laughed at my levity and then told me about his heartfelt parting with Arwen from Rivendell and of the concerns of Lord Elrond concerning his daughter's immortality. It really did seem tragic at the time. Two star crossed lovers of different worlds wanting to be together but tragically torn apart by outside forces... someone should write a story about it.

"And now I feel so empty. I know I did what is best for her and that should make me happy, correct? I mean, the woman I love is happy what greater joy is there than that? But I cannot help the pain I feel inside my chest... this longing to be reunited with her, to hold her and explain to her that I did not want to hurt her." He broke off, shaking his head in self disgust. "I keep going in circles my friend and I see no end to it. I am sorry for putting this on you."

"I do not mind. If I did I would not have asked would I?" I smiled at him then, a genuine playful smile and to my pleasure he returned it. Aragorn looked years younger when he smiled. I nudged him then, it was meant only as a playful gesture to lighten the mood. However, it caught him off guard and he almost fell off the log we shared. After that display he had to defend his dignity... so he shoved me back.

"Not so weighed down now are you?!" I teased him as we continued the juvenile play.

"I must not let the honor of men fall to an elf!" he jokingly proclaimed, lunging at me. The force finally knocked us to the ground, him landing on top of me. I huffed in exertion as his body pressed me into the soft grass beneath us. We were not far out of Rivendell and so it was still beautiful terrain.

We paused then, staring into each other's eyes. Smiles faded into looks of longing, both of us feeling a sense of emptiness. I missed my homeland and he missed his beautiful Elvin princess. We were both men of loss and we both needed comfort. I can't remember if it was he or I that made the first move, perhaps we both moved together, but somehow we started kissing.

I remember I could not believe I had not done this more often. It was so magical and warm. I felt the heat spreading through my entire being and knew what it felt like to truly be alive. He ran his rough, callused fingers up under my tunic and brushed my hardening nub causing me to moan despite myself. It was like we were intoxicated by some unseen drug or wine and I found I wanted nothing more than to be lost in this moment forever.

I ran my hands down his back and grabbed his ass in a rather bold fashion, he moaned into my mouth sending shivers down my spin. Before I knew what was happening he had my tunic open and his own had disappeared somewhere. I think it was I that removed it, but to this day I still cannot remember. Ironic eh?

"You are beautiful, mellon nin," he purred, stroking my ears in a most pleasurable way. I shuddered in ecstasy and wrapped my legs around his waist, pushing him closer to me and rubbing our clothed erections together. That was a sensation I will never forget as long as I live. It paid to have a man that was used to the ways of pleasing an elf. "Let me be inside you, please?" he begged me then, his voice horse with need. I knew he needed this and that it would be a comfort to him and I wanted to help... so I let him.

My fevered nod was all he needed. I do not know where he got the oil from, nor did I care either. It was a strange sensation to have another being's digits inside me, but it soon became a very pleasurable experience. Aragorn was a far more experienced lover than I.

He explained to me later that humans went through something called 'puberty' and that this period of time caused a lot of exploring in sexual activities, even if it was alone. I did not quite fully understand what he meant for quite sometime until he showed me later on our travels. He made me pleasure myself while he watched, telling me what to do. It was embarrassing and erotic all at the same time, but I learned the ways of self pleasure and became a better lover for it. It comes in handy now.

When it came time for him to enter me I was a slightly apprehensive. He was not lacking is size or girth and I just could not fathom all of him inside my tiny entrance. Aragorn laughed at me when I expressed my feelings to him, but it was not a mocking laugh. He merely kissed me and stroked my face, whispering that we did not have to do this and he would not think less of me if we did. I refused to back out, I wanted this experience and everything else had been enjoyable up until this point so I wanted more.

"No, Aragorn, I wish to proceed. I just wonder at the pain is all." He stroked my sex at that point, causing me to gasp and roll my eyes.

"It will only hurt for a minute, and then I promise you pleasure beyond your wildest dreams," he cooed, stroking me harder and squeezing me in his strong hand. I moaned and sucked at the base of his neck, giving him my answer. "Just remember to stay calm, don't clench." I nodded dumbly, too lost in his hand's ministrations.

As he pushed his way in I did feel a hot burning pain, but it was not unbearable. I remembered his advice and tried my best to stay calm and not give into the natural reaction and push back to try and expel him. He was an angel through this, whispering comforting words and taking his time so that I would not be torn. I think that was when I fell in love with him. I just did not know it yet.

When he was fully sheathed within me he stopped, looking me in the eye with lust clouded orbs of blue. "Are you ready?" he asked me after a few moments had passed. I nodded and he started a slow, rhythmic motion that allowed me to feel every inch of him moving inside me. We both moaned in pleasure then, our dulcet noises filling the night air. I could only wonder if anyone else in the came could hear us. We were rather close to them, but I could not seem to care if they did.

It was not long before we picked up the pace and began moving like rabid beasts in heat. It sounds so vulgar now, but there was nothing vulgar about it. It was sacred to the both of us. Just what each of us needed to keep our lonely hearts occupied with something else other than thoughts of what we each left behind. This was my first real travel from home as well so I was rather homesick.

"Oh, Aragorn," I mewled feeling him climax inside my passage violently. He jerked me a few more times and I joined him, spaying my seed over his chest as well as my own. I never felt anything so intense before in my life. It was beautiful and I never wanted it to end. Not ever.

"Hannon le," he panted falling on top of me, but this time it did not feel suppressive, only comforting. His weight was like a protective shield atop my over sensitized body. We kissed for what seemed ages, deep, slow, passionate kisses meant to comfort our hearts and sooth our raging desires. "Am I hurting you?" he asked as I groaned. I shifted my body and reached underneath me.

"No, but this wretched rock in my lower back is," I quipped, pulling the offending thing from underneath me. "Didn't notice it until now," I blushed and tossed it to the other side of the camp. The noise started Gimli and he bolted up in his bed roll, axe already in hand.

"Ha! What?! Orcs! Where are they, I'll kill the lot of them!" He shouted, waking the rest of our companions. Both Aragorn and myself grabbed our clothes and rolled down the hill into the bushes. "What was that?!" Gimli shouted looking around confusedly.

"It is nothing, master dwarf, go to sleep!" Gandalf barked at him. Gandalf the Grey was not a joyous person when woken from a sound sleep for no good reason. Both Aragorn and myself giggled at the confusion from the bushes, snickering over our near discovery as we helped one another dress.

"That was a close one, mellon nin. We should be more careful next time." His words caused my actions to halt.

"Next time? There will be a next time?" I asked, sounding like a youth not past my maturity, but I was caught unawares, I took our romp as a one time occurrence. He blushed and looked away as he laced up his boots again.

"Well, I had hoped so... that is if you so desire," he mumbled in a most endearing way. I took his chin in my hand and smiled at him.

"Yes, I would desire that very much," I said happily, giving him a kiss. I could feel him smile against my lips before he deepened the gesture, massaging my tongue with his own before sucking on my bottom lip. "We best get back before they worry. It already looks suspicious," I warned. He nodded, pulling some grass from my hair.

"This might give us away," he quipped, throwing it to the ground. "You elves and your hair," he sighed, running his fingers through mine to show he did not really detest it.

"Aragorn? Legolas?" We heard the hobbits calling to us and decided it was best to part for now. Aragorn decided he should leave from the bushes making it look like he merely had to relieve himself, which was not a complete lie, and then I could make my way around silently and come back as if on patrol.

"Aye I'm over here, nature called. Can't I get a moment's reprieve?" He taunted them going back to the camp in all his usual sulking glory. I watched him with a sense of awe as he charmed the hobbits away from the bushes and back to the camp. I think that is when my admiration for him began. Even though I was physically older, I was still younger in spirit. He had traveled so much and already fought in many battles, where as I was still a youth, just out of what the humans would call teenaged years. Of course for an immortal that was a much longer time. After that night I began to look up to him in many ways and it only deepened my love for him.

Just as Aragorn had promised we coupled many times after that night, practically every night in fact. We were like two children in love, wanting to spend every waking moment in each other's arms. Throughout the day we had to keep our distance, though he found subtle ways of showing me how much he cared during the day. Whether it was the 'mysterious' wild flowers I found in my quiver or the extra ration on my plate it was just the son of men showing his elf he was loved and I cherished those gestures like I cherished our time together.

"We shall go through the mines."

When I heard Frodo say those words my heart skipped a beat or two. I did not want to go into those mines for all the wealth in Middle Earth. I had always hated caves, ever since I was an elfling and now I would be in one of the darkest and deepest caves for untold days and nights with danger lurking around every corner?! To say I was apprehensive would be a gross understatement. To say I was terrified would be a beginning to describing what I felt.

That night Aragorn came to me, looking for our usual ritual, but I was too preoccupied with the thoughts of Moria to make love. When he snuck into my bed roll behind me and kissed my shoulders I jumped, but made no other move. He continued his accent up my neck, trying to get me to respond. Perhaps he thought I was playing a game as I sometimes did, but when I still did nothing he pulled back.

"Legolas, what's wrong? Have I offended you?" he asked, true concern in his voice and that just made me love him more. I sighed and turned to him.

"No, it is not you, my love. I... I fear the mines," I mumbled, not meeting his eyes. "I know it is foolish of me, but there is no life inside there. No trees to speak to, and no air. I fear I shall go mad in there!" I felt his arms pull me closer and slightly chapped lips on my forehead.

"It is not foolish, meleth. None of us are looking forward to them—except Gimli that is." The mention of the dwarf always made me laugh. Gimli and I had been exchanging jabs at that point and our friendship was only n the very beginning stages. "But you will not have to go through it alone. I will be there to help you along. I will not let them drive you mad, meleth."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you," I said to him breathlessly, kissing him passionately. After that we made love all night, melting the snow beneath our bodies and sparking the fires of desire.

Aragorn was always there for me when I needed him and I returned the favor. We became an unstoppable team. He trusted my judgment and I his. He began to consult me for almost every decision and I relished the responsibility. We had suffered some heavy losses along the way as well. We lost Gandalf in Moria and I could not understand that he was dead. As an immortal I never had any experience with death and to lose someone so powerful and so close, he was our leader, our guide... and now he was gone. What would we do now?

That night both of us held each other taking turns spilling our grief. The trip through Moria had been taxing on everyone and none of us were the same. We did not talk as much as we did when we first started. The hobbits did not laugh anymore, only trudged along and looking around like lost children. All of us felt crippled by the grief and talking just seemed to waste energy and none of us had any of that to spare.

Then we lost Boromir. That was particularly hard on Aragorn because of the argument they had had. He had confided in me many a night about his anger toward Boromir's attitude, but I knew he only got so angry because he cared. He did not tell me exactly what they said to each other when Boromir died, but he felt it very strongly. We gave him a funeral as best we could with our limited time and then took off after the hobbits.

I began to wonder just how many more of us we would lose along this journey. Would I be parted from the one I loved the most? The thought plagued my thoughts night and day and many times I would wake screaming from a horrible recurring nightmare. We were in a battle and I saw Aragorn taken over the edge of a cliff by some hideous creature I could not make out. The dream was always hazy and the details unclear, but his scream as he went over always echoed most profoundly in my head.

When I awoke Aragorn was always right next to me, comforting me, telling me nothing would separate us; that we would be together forever. I would smile shakily and accept his gestures of affection, but I could not shake that image from my head. It was like a foreboding vision of the future... of what would later be known to me as the worst day of my life.

"Aragorn?!" I called out for him again after the warg attack and still he did not answer to either mine or Gimli's calls. That feeling of dread was so overwhelming I do not think I will ever forget it. I saw the cliff and stopped in my tracks recognizing it as the one from my nightmare. It was then that I heard that vicious Orc's cruel laughter.

"It took a little tumble off the cliff," he rasped evilly, laughing at my horror. I shook him, not wanting to believe it... but then I found the pendant in his hand. So many thoughts rushed through my mind I could not get a hold on one of them. I ran to the cliff and looked over, holding the pendent laxly in my hand as if it would somehow bring him back from death.

I think a part of me wanted to fall off that cliff and join him. However a hand on my shoulder snapped me out of my stupor. It was Theoden. "Come," he said plainly. "Put the wounded on horses, leave the dead." I jerked at that. Leave the dead? How could I leave my lover behind? He needed a proper burial, needed someone to sing in memoriam, someone to go back to Rivendell and tell Arwen.

It was then that my friendship with Gimli truly became valued. He was a great help to me. He had long since found out about our relationship and promised to keep our secret. He did not claim to understand it, but he did not judge us and that's all we wanted. Now I was all alone again it seemed. Eowyn did not take the news well either, but I left that task to Gimli for fear I would break down and blow our cover.

The discussion of Arwen had not crossed our lips since that first night. We both knew she was still alive and I knew that Aragorn still loved her or he would not have still worn her pendent. I would often stare at it during our romps wondering what would happen to us when this quest was over. Would he go back to her? I knew what we did was meant as comfort, but we had grown very attached to one another. What would happen now?

"Lord Aragorn! Lord Aragorn is back!"

It was not possible. My beloved was alive and back at Helm's Deep! I was so overjoyed I almost jumped up and down, but I could not. I had to stay calm. After all, as far as anyone else knew I was only his fighting companion, not his lover. I had to give him the necklace back, even though I did not want to... but it was an issue we had to discuss. I had come to except the inevitable future in those few days we were apart and I could accept that he would always go back to her.

He looked at me as if surprised to see me and I smiled. He looked terrible and I told him so, making him laugh... but that was my job... comfort. I slipped the pendant into his hand and smirked at him, letting him know that I understood everything. I told him more in that one look than I had in all our months together. He looked at my surprised, but simply nodded his head and uttered his famous words to me.

"Hannon le..."

That night we made love as if it could be our last. In truth it could have been, an insurmountable number of Orcs and Urk-hai were heading straight for us. Aragorn had seen them himself. It was bittersweet. It was one of the best nights of my life.

We had done it, we had finally done it. We defeated Sauron and saved Middle Earth! Aragorn had been crowned and the ring destroyed. All was as it should be... almost. The king needed a queen.

I knew we could never be together, never publicly. His kingdom needed an heir to the thrown and no matter how much I loved him I just could not give that to him. He had talked to me about it many a night. That he did not care about children or what people thought, that I was his beloved and he wanted me at his side for always. I cried when he told me. I wanted so badly to just say yes. I had wished for him to say that to me a thousand times, but my common sense would not let me... I knew what I had to do.

"I'm sorry, meleth, but I cannot let you throw away everything you have worked for. I cannot be at your side... at least not as a lover—only as a friend." I could see the unshed tears in his eyes as I said these words and it broke my heart. Why was this so hard? "I'll be at your wedding." I told him and then left without another word.

When the coronation happened we had already made up and had our last, passion filled night together. It was a truly magical night. When morning came I woke up to find him already sitting by his window over looking the kingdom. He was covered only by the comforter and the pale morning sun made him look absolutely beautiful. It's an image I have treasured always.

"What are you doing up so early?" I asked him. He looked at me with a maudlin expression and sighed.

"Today I am king."

I looked back down at the bed. It was all he had to say to me. We both had agreed that once he was crowned we would no longer be lovers. It would just complicate matters too much. I promised to always be there for him, but I would not share his bed any longer... it would just hurt too much. I knew what had to be done.

I watched as Gandalf crowned Aragorn king. I never saw a more somber expression on his face. He had always viewed his duty as king to be a sort of prison and I could understand that. I had my own kingdom to run, one that needed even more rebuilding than his own. But my surprise arrived safely and I was all aflutter at the thought of him seeing it.

He came up to me and I moved up to meet him, greeting him with a warriors greeting. Our expressions said it all, just like at Helm's Deep. We would always love one another, but we could not show it. He said to me again those words I longed to hear and knew he would say.

"Hannon le..." I smiled impishly then and looked over to my right. He followed my look with confusion until my surprise revealed herself. He looked at me as if he could not believe I would do this for him and then he went to her, as he should have. It was how things were meant to be. Aragorn son of Arathorn was meant to marry Arwen Undomil... she could give him the family I could not.

I watched them exchange an awkward look before he embraced her fiercely and kissed her with such passion. I smiled. I knew he still loved her and she him. Everything was as it should be.

"I don't understand how you can smile at such a time, master Elf," Gimli's gruff voice asked me. I looked to him and smiled sincerely as I watched the new king and Queen spin around in joy. I felt an odd sense of calm come over me as I watched them, Aragorn was so happy... how could I be sad?

"The man I love is happy Gimli... what greater joy in life is there than that?" He sighed and did something I never thought I would see Gimli son of Gloin do... he held my hand. Patting it in comfort, I squeezed his hand back to show that I appreciated it. He was truly a dear friend... one I would have been more than happy to die with in battle.

Now I lay on my bed, a guest in the King's home. We said our goodbyes to the hobbits earlier in the day and now I just wanted to be alone. I missed our half-sized companions very much and now I had no idea when I would see them again. Everyone was going their separate ways, the fellowship was disbanded.

Gimli had tried to get me to come down to dinner, but I just could not. I could not sit there and watch Aragorn and Arwen together. I was happy for them yes, but now I needed to make my peace with the fact that Aragorn did not love me anymore. Besides I was not hungry.

I sigh and get up from my bed, moving over to the window. I look down on the archery fields and smile. A warrior can always return to his craft in times of need because it will always be there. A warrior can also choose which country he wishes to defend. I think I will choose Gondor for a time. I smile and go over to my quiver. Some archery practice will make me feel right as rain.

I pull it out of the trunk at the foot of my bed and pull out my Lothlorian arrows and bow. When I see them my smile widens. I can always count on my bow, after all pledging its services is what led me to Aragorn in the first place. As I open it to count how many arrows I have left I gasp, almost dropping it entirely.

Tears run down my cheeks as I stifle a sob and take out the sign that my beloved has not forgotten me, but in fact still loves me, freshly picked wildflowers hidden in my quiver for only my eyes to see.

Fin

Oh lordie... I'm not sure if I liked that or not, but there it is. I tried. Happy Birthday Sara!! Hey I wrote a story with no rape or violence! Holy shit!! looks around for the apocalypse


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